Natalie

March 14, 2023 | Read time: 4 min

Do I Belong Here? Reflections of a Ph.D. Student 3 Months In

When Marshall decided to go back to university for his Ph.D., he felt reasonably confident in his decision. He knew what he wanted to research and had worked for several years following his M.A. degree at a think tank that was affiliated with the department he applied to. As a think tank worker, he spent most of his days reading other people’s research and organizing conferences. He was ready to move up the academic hierarchy and have his own work be taken seriously. His school didn’t offer great funding, but he had some savings and knew his parents would help him if he really needed it.

But three months into his Ph.D. program, Marshall found himself almost missing the days when he would work until 9 pm making travel arrangements and proofreading articles for the think tank professors. He had thought entering his Ph.D. program would give him more time to work on his studies and a better work-life balance. But in fact, he was struggling with stress, isolation, money worries, imposter syndrome, and spending more time at the bar than at the gym to cope.

Is Marshall an isolated case? Absolutely not. Many students, both successful Ph.D. graduates and those who left their programs to pursue other opportunities, have found themselves in Marshall’s position during their academic journey. Three months into a Ph.D. program is a very common time to hit the kind of wall that Marshall found himself facing. So is a Ph.D. worth it? How can Ph.D. students get through these difficult times?

Expectations vs. Reality: Did I watch too many #PhDLife TikToks?

If you’re like most Ph.D. students, you expect your Ph.D. journey to have some challenges, but that doesn’t mean you won’t struggle when you encounter them. The first few months, especially, can be overwhelming.

Many students move to a new place and school where they have a limited network to begin their studies. Like Marshall, you might find yourself isolated and not knowing where to turn for help. It turns out that Ph.D. life isn’t all fancy coffees, fun study dates with your friends, and effortlessly finding just the research you need to inspire a massive breakthrough.

The reality is it takes time to settle into your new routine and figure out what you’re doing as a Ph.D. student. A lot of people think that because they have been a student before, being a Ph.D. student will be familiar.

PhDs are much more self-directed than other types of education programs. You really have to take the lead in driving your education, figuring out what classes and credits you need, and befriending others in your department. You need to be doing research and planning out your Ph.D. journey. And yes, you need to be chasing your advisor if they aren’t responding to your emails.

Adjusting Your Mindset: Finding a groove takes time

Although the picture I painted of Marshall at the beginning left him in a pretty bad place, the reality is his first few months as a Ph.D. student weren’t all bad. He did manage to connect with a few of the professors he had worked with (well, under) at the think tank and let them know he was studying for his doctorate. He spent some time in the library and started developing his research question. And later, when he was invited by one of his professors to attend a gathering after class, he struck up a conversation with another student who was interested in a similar topic.

Let’s be honest: your whole life won’t be perfect after just three months in a new place! And so isn’t Marshall’s. But he was well on his way to establishing a support and study network and figuring out the direction he wanted his research to take. As time went on, he was able to establish a more set routine, controlling his work hours and making sure he got exercise and ate healthy meals. When he was too stressed, he called a friend or went for a walk. The more time he spent working on his research, taking courses, and getting to know the other people in his graduate department, the more he started feeling more like he belonged in his program.

Tips for Settling in to Your Ph.D. Life

Not everyone can be as lucky as Marshall and establish a network so quickly. However, you definitely need to try to make connections at your academic institution. If you struggle to make them within your department, consider joining a club or organization within your school to meet some people.

Join graduate school mixers and activities. Having a friend or acquaintance dealing with the same issues that you are can really be an important source of support for getting through those difficult times in your Ph.D.

In addition to the social aspect, ensure you’re taking care of yourself. That means eating well, exercising, sleeping enough (and at regular hours), and working on your coursework. Many Ph.D. students need to work part-time to supplement their income. If that’s you, ensure you’re adhering to a budget so that your hard work and time aren’t wasted on impulse purchases or careless spending. And make sure to build time for leisure into your schedule. “Allowing” yourself to go out and do fun things can help get rid of that guilty feeling that many graduate students experience whenever they aren’t working. Making and sticking to a schedule can make your life seem much more manageable overall.

Finally, keep in mind why you are doing your Ph.D. program in the first place! What goal did you enter the program with? What do you hope to learn and accomplish? It can help to keep a diary or record of your goals and develop a plan for your research and coursework. Map out your Ph.D. journey at the beginning as a clear reminder of why all of this hardship is worth it. A Ph.D. isn’t just about doing in-depth research on a particular topic. You’re learning skills like time management, self-care, networking, and goal setting to help you for the rest of your life. So don’t let the doubts and stress that you experience a few months pressure you to give up! Three months into a Ph.D. is just the beginning of an uphill journey.